This post is about my choice to release the mindset that I deserve what others received because “I did everything right”! Let me explain.
I have been getting back into the social atmosphere and reconnecting with friends. It has been so bittersweet. I love being able to chat and make plans again. Yes, I am that “let’s go out for drinks” friend. I stay ready for brunch too. Come pick me up and I am at the door with gas money (yo these gas prices smh). I feel I have done so much these past 30 years that these next will be me living my life. I did everything right…right?
I went to school and got straight A’s. I went to the colleges and got them degrees. I work and give 100% to my jobs. I paid my bills (almost) on time. Saved what I can. Went to church, served and tithed. I did all that I was told to do AND YET I still experienced challenges. Heartbreak, living paycheck to paycheck, going hungry being on my last, abused and misused by folks who were supposed to love and care for me, and so much more. I did everything I was told to and it has not got me where I should be. I have not obtained the life I desire. A life of luxury and good health. Meanwhile the worst of human kind is jet setting and living their best life. Did I not do everything right?
I did everything right for them, and not for me. Everything that was right to them was not right for me. It is clear that the path I was walking was to prepare me for the purpose I am activating today. In my past I was living for others and not for myself or my legacy. Comparing my circumstances to live out their expectations. Today I am living for me. I appreciate the lessons and experiences my past has given me. Without them I would not be able to relate or show compassion to others at the level I do (yes that is all me). Without the pain I wouldn’t know what healing feels like. Without hate I wouldn’t know what love looks like. Without depression I wouldn’t know unconditional joy. I am so glad I am now realizing what it means to live for me. To do everything right for my divine assignment. To not allow other’s expectations or definitions write my narrative - this is my story. Better late than never. So I move forward enjoying and embracing the moment. I am working on not worrying about tomorrow - God has that. Today is when I take all the blessings that are for me and do EVERYTHING right!
(Picture) 2022 SF Carnaval - My release expressed. This is me!